Bullying ranges from minor to major and is of course a form of abuse, it could be physical, sexual or emotional abuse, the latter of which is much harder to pick.
Children who aren’t encouraged to share and express their feelings honestly, creating clear boundaries and standing up for themselves (out of fear of abandonment) will suffer from poor self worth, self esteem and insecurity that will carry through their lives. It’s a deep physiological fear that if they’re abandoned – they’ll die.
This usually starts at home. If they can’t deal with this at home, energetically and behaviorally – they’ll attract more unwanted attention to themselves at school in the form of bullying.
Kim introduced us to the Karpman Triangle (also known as the drama triangle) between the victim, the persecutor and the rescuer – interestingly, the cause of which role they assume will be the same. It will be a dis-empowered or abusive environment and they choose how to relate to it, to fight it or flight it. http://www.kimknighthealth.com/unseen-causes-consequences-bullying/
We talked about listening to our bodies, in particular our heart and our gut (our other 2 brains) – your body never lies, but your mind will rationalise away the feelings from the gut and heart if they don’t learn to express their feelings safely and speak up.
Our kids can empower themselves in bullying situations by standing up for themselves stating how they feel using “I” statements, taking full responsibility for their feelings in the situation.
The main take home points:
- Children role model their parents – be the empowered adult and the child will learn that automatically.
- Take responsibility for our own feelings more and express them in a way that doesn’t make it about others
- Trusting your physical instincts in confrontational situations – listen to your body, it will give you signs of what to do next
- Find a safe person to talk to – a teacher, someone at school or a trusted adult
- Everyone has the right to stand up to injustices upon them – don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed or shy away from dealing with it
Can we avoid the conditioning and programming that goes on unconsciously in the formative years? ... Read more